Archive for November 22nd, 2009

How to catch a shark

Sunday, November 22nd, 2009

Step 1:  Take a piece of old red and white line that came off a used boat you bought a decade ago.

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Step 2:  Ruffle it up a bit and add a hook.

(A red and white string walks into a bar. “You’re a string! We don’t serve your kind here” the bartender says. The string whips his bitter end into a bowline on a bight and shakes his whipping free, and says “A string?! I’m a frayed knot!”)

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Step 3: Add a stinky deck squid. 
(He died to be near his beloved green sheet.  It was an ill-fated match, he was a squid, she was a dacron staysail sheet. Love conquers many things but a union between squid and running rigging cannot be accommodated.)

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Step 4:  Deploy the candy-cane lure at 5 knots off the west coast of Baja, hope to catch a tuna.

Then cut the hook off with a pair of lineman’s pliers when your sure he’s too tired to take your hand off. He gets a cool piercing that the indie shark chicks will dig, we get a nice picture and the lure back.  It’s a win/win.

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To catch a mahi: repeat as above, in the Gulf of California, but keep the mahi. 

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The efficacy of this method is bourn out in the wide-eyed shock and disbelief this mahi suffered on succumbing to the candy cane lure trick (or was it the raspberry vodka we sloshed down his gullet at the coup de grace…wait…  a mahi walks into a bar and spits out a candy cane dacron lure…)

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23°23.85’N 109°23.29’W 21-Nov-09 08:00 PST